(No) Coffee time with Oscar

(No) Coffee time with Oscar

I don't consider myself a coffee addict. Is that what every coffee addict says? Anyways, I've been without coffee for the last two weeks. How's it going? Let me tell you.

It fucking sucks

I'd like to think that it's a coincidence and that, you know, I'm not a coffee addict for real but everything points to me being one. I've been feeling super tired. Like crazy tired. And I'm usually not the kind of guy that feels like that, even after not sleeping well for days –because I'm an insomniac, not because it's something fun to do. I usually don't do naps, because when I do I end up feeling way worse than before and my sleep cycle gets pushed the same amount of hours I nap. And rambling... I have started rambling.

And my mornings... They're not good anymore. I struggle a bit to get up to speed and I'm waking up late. I turn on my computer and feel sluggish on the keyboard. It's as if my brain needs warming up now. I wasn't like that. I was always fresh and fast and ready in the morning. Like a donuts and coffee combo.

My humor is more or less unchanged because I'm a middle child and I learned how to stop showing emotions and stopped caring at an early age. If something, I'd say I'm less shaky on my jokes –see what I did there? Oh, yes, my sarcasm level is way up.

And the reason is...

You. Haha. Ok, no. The reason is simple: My coffee machine is broken. Not true. My carafe cracked. Yeah, I risked it and almost ended up eating glass. So, the machine works but I don't have a good bezel to put my coffee in. It's always the small things, right? It's not because I'm picky on where my coffee drips to, though. It's my machine's fault. The carafe, and the whole machine really, is smaller than average at 5 cups maximum and –hard to believe– I cannot seem to find a replacement anywhere on the internet. It's buying the whole damn thing again or nothing at all and I will not spend that –not much, honestly– money on it.

Also, it's as if Instagram knows that this happened to me because it keeps pushing these aesthetic Reels of people pouring beautiful espresso shots from their gorgeous espresso machines that cost more than everything in my house. I'm now even thinking of buying one and creating a coffee bar in the corner of my room! Start preparing for Oscar Barista sometime soon. I'm telling you, it's going to happen. I've already started looking at YouTube reviews... That's really bad in the Oscar language.

So coffee is good... right?

Now that I have guilt tripped myself into feeling like a coffee addict, I will up the stakes by saying that it has positive effects on your health. Because if it feels good it cannot be bad, or at least that's what they say. A good ol' Google search with Generative AI turned on –because I don't fear the AI machine– suggests there's the following health benefits from coffee:

  • Antioxidants: Coffee contains chlorogenic acid, trigonelline, and cafestol. Chlorogenic acid may help fight diabetes, trigonelline may help prevent cavities, and cafestol may control bile acid and limit brain inflammation.
  • Reduced risk of depression: A 2011 Harvard study found that people who drink the most coffee have a 20% lower risk of becoming depressed. A review of three studies found that people who drink four or more cups of coffee per day are 53% less likely to commit suicide.
  • Reduced risk of type 2 diabetes: Some research suggests that regularly consuming coffee may be associated with a decreased risk of developing type 2 diabetes.
  • Fat loss: Coffee's high caffeine content helps convert fatty acids into energy, which can unintentionally cause fat loss.
  • Other health benefits: Coffee may help your body process glucose better, reduce inflammation, and may be less likely to cause heart failure or Parkinson's disease

But not everything is a walk in the park. It also showed me some negative effects:

  • Caffeine side effects: Consuming too much caffeine can cause insomnia, nervousness, restlessness, stomach upset, nausea, vomiting, increased heart rate, and other side effects. Regular use of more than 600 mg of caffeine a day can also cause long-term effects such as sleep problems, thinning of bones and fractures, more anxiety, and stomach acidity.
  • Headaches and anxiety: Consuming large amounts of coffee might also cause headaches, anxiety, agitation, ringing in the ears, and irregular heartbeats.

So, what tickles your fancy? Are you #teamcoffee or are you just plain dumb? Let me know, or not, I don't care. I haven't had coffee in two weeks, man. ☹️